you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
