My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
