who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
