fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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