she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
