Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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