Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
