i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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