The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
