Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Houston, we have a squirter
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
