i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
