the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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