Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
