why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
