glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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