writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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