READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize