It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
