Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
