I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
