Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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