STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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