Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
