She went from zero to smokin in five shots
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
