I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
