Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
she peed on how many people?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
