he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
