you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize