whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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