Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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