im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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