in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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