i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
