dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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