My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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