Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
