I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
