Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
