please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
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He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Still dying that you shit outside
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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