brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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