You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
