I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
