You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
