I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
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I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
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Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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