so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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