No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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