There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize