Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
