Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize