I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
