I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize