This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
