So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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