hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
