I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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