He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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