It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
