No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
