No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
