Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
