Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
