Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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