I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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