aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
